I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
