question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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