it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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