Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
