She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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