is your mom at the bar?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
