my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i love accidental penises.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
