Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
