what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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