This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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