You're completely useless in the revolution.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
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