but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
