What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
