dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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