did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Is Oprah even human
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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