$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
