Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
