I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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