He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
