I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
