I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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