i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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