how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
