Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
