You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
