Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
