Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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