It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
