every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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