Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
