Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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