your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
