i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
