I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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