You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
