in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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