We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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