True but thats because hes a fetus.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Last time i carry you out of a forest
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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