i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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