if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
