I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
