And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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