If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
