he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
