i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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