i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
