We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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