The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
