All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
