you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize