We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
