My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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