I love black thongs
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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