Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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