i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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