I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
