she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
love makes seman taste better
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We have so much sex to catch up on
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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