I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
