she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
