if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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