i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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