I think my vagina is haunted
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
As shirtless as possible
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
