im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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