piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize