We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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